my defense

i swear i'm not myself lately...

Have you ever experience waking in the early morning with this very heavy feeling in your body, and it's not what others call "waking up on the wrong side of the bed".

Awhile ago i'm laughing my heart out and seconds after that, this same heavy feeling will suddenly strike and i feel alone amidst my sea of friends.

Loneliness? Is that it?
Hardly no... hardly yes...
Hardly no... 'cause I got many friends
Hardly yes... don't know why...
However, it's true that i have yet to discover myself...but who could have? At our teen years, we are still in the process of finding ourselves, right?
However, I can't say that I do not know who I am. I just haven't discovered everything about me. Knowing one's self, and discovering it fully are different things but complements each other. It's like a book, knowing the contents of the book, and fully reading and analyzing them are different. You cannot discover wihtout knowing, and by knowing you discover. That's me. I know myself, but i am still in the process of discovering me.
Opening up to people, is not a problem. It's just that, people read you wrongly sometimes. If you do something, they judge you quickly. But what really counts is that, do they probe deep enough? You see, most people think in accordance with the norms of society, that's why, if you ever do something extraordinary, they frown and say you're crazy... your reasons, however justifiable are more often than not, ignored. You see, it's not actually pride that borders us, it's the norms.

NASTY DAY!!!

I do not know why i tolerate FF... but what he did yesterday really irritates me... but i just shrugged it off... the hell!

The Cumlasoc... ever prestigious and DARNED NASTY, has told the world that i got a crush on aaron... a bisexual nymphomaniac and ever trustworthy bitch blockhead of our class! The thing is, i don't have anything on that guy/gay... and if you happen to see his face when he heard the news...I very much ashamed actually... if it happens to be any other guy, i wouldn't be very much agitated, but THE HELL!!! IT'S AARON!!! i almost throw up!!! I'm sorry if i'm too hard on this... but this is how i really feel... he's not even good-looking... I hope FF is reading this... 'cause i swear... i'm bound to avenge myself for that!!! Also for my very cute and lovable friend SHAZERU FUUMA, better watch out girl... you're in this too...

Anyway, i made another blog today... but i'm not telling you (especially FF) my URL... the things in there are highly confidential and down-to-earth sentimental...

I don't have any money left, and i'll soon be out on the streets... starving...

I'm alone and alone and alone and alone and alone and alone and alone and alone and alone and alone... and it's only noon...

I had a sausage for BRUNCH, that's all i can afford rightnow...

I sew my dresses...T-shirts and pants that needs sewings (can you believe i know hoe to sew?)

I also need to do my laundry(then what am I doing here?)

I need to come up with a thesis statement for my report...

I need to review for my exam in Math...

I need to look for a laptop...

I need to E-mail my Dad...

I need to...

END THIS...

BYE!!

DARNED FF AND FUUMA...I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!!!

A WALK 2 REMEMBER

I can never forget wat happened yesterday, it was such a simple gimmick and a very tiring wallk but i wasn't aware of it. Perhaps it's because i'm with people that i really want to be with... And i swear, it was a gimmick that people might turn down, coz like i said, it's really tiring and simple...
IMAGINE THIS:
We just finished a test that was so dissapointingly easy ('coz i happen 2 study, which i rarely do) and we decided to have a bit of fun...watch sunset in Manila Bay. Unfortunately, it was only 10:30 in the morning so we decided to hit the mall, particularly the VIDEOKE and sing some out of tune songs... then we ate and headed to BAYWALK via PEDRO GIL, ofcourse, it would be a dumb idea to wait for the sunset coz it's only about 1:00 in the afternoon, so we headed to CCP...by foot and all...when we got there, we rented some bicycle, and ofcourse, ride it for 2 hours. We are grim by then because it was cloudy and actually drizzling and we are afraid that we won't be able to see the sunset. Anyway we pass the time biking. We got our hopes up, when, by four in the afternoon, we saw the cloud break and the sun peeping into the clouds... we decided to hit the road and wait for the sun to set... so once again, we walked...and walked... we were exhausted, nonetheless, we walked... halfway the manila bay, we gave up the thought of seeing the sun, coz it was too cloudy, although it wasn't raining, so we continue our walked and headed for the Boardwalk...(can u believe that from pedro gil to manila bay, then ccp, then boardwalk, not to mention the 2 hour bicycle ride!!) With little luck, aching feet and a enormous amount of stamina, we made it, at last, to the BoardWalk... We hastily buy some food and refreshments, 'coz for my part, i felt that i was about to collapse (joke). Anyway, we arrived there before six, and the sky is starting to darken already... when it was completely dark, we face the sea...or bay... and stare into oblivion, (which feels good...don't know why...) and meditated a little, chat a little (actually we chat N chat till we drop...) and finally decided to go home...
If u think that we finally came to our senses and ride back home...ur definitely wrong... 'coz by that time we no longer have money for our fare... so once again we walked... from boardwalk, we cross Luneta park, found our selves in UN ave. and finally my dormitory in which i abode... I was so tired and my feet aches a lot, but i didn't care... and did i mention that i happen to treat them with some fingerfoods and drinThat day for me was so special, that my friends and i decided to do it AGAIN, right folks, WE'LL DoTHAT WALK AGAIN, with more company, on monday afternoon...